Category Archives: articles

Paul Lynde

Hurry, Charley! There is not much time. — Rainier Wolfcastle I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I been in this square for near thirty seasons, and I ain’t a’leavin’ now! — Charley Weaver, “Krusty Gets Kancelled” The immobility of Springfield Squares contestant … Continue reading

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It’s A Good Life

It’s good that Bart did that. It’s very good. — Football announcer guy, “Treehouse Of Horror II” Happy Halloween-ish! It’s been five spooky weeks since I’ve posted an update! Oooo-oooo! Bart’s “Treehouse” foray into omnipotence parodies a classic Jerome Bixby … Continue reading

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Where’s The Beef?

No wonder he won Minnesota. — Homer, “Lisa’s First Word” With the presidential debates lurking around the corner like some drug-addled maniac, why not take a trip back in time to the whirlwind that was the 1984 Democratic primaries? Take … Continue reading

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Mapplethorpe

It’s a pornography store. I was buying pornography. — Homer, “Mr. Plow” Greetings, friends. How I have missed you. In compensation for my prolonged absence, today’s post will be virtually devoid of educational content and devoted instead to the human … Continue reading

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The Camel T-Zone

Only Duff fills your Q-zone with pure beer goodness. — Doctor guy, “Duffless” Ignoring what “Q” would stand for in the above advert, let us turn instead to the stimulating vapors given off by a cool Camel. Right … here! … Continue reading

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The Bread Roll Ballet

Sir, I represent the estate of Charles Chaplin. I have a court order demanding an immediate halt to this unauthorized imitation. Boys? — Blue-Haired Lawyer, “Lady Bouvier’s Lover” Yes, any Simpsons fan worth his sugar could identify Abe Simpson’s culinary … Continue reading

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Crystal Pepsi

Listen carefully, and my words will shape images as clear as any TV show. It was a tumultuous time for our nation: the clear beverage craze gave us all a reason to live; the information superhighway showed the average person … Continue reading

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