No wonder he won Minnesota. — Homer, “Lisa’s First Word”
With the presidential debates lurking around the corner like some drug-addled maniac, why not take a trip back in time to the whirlwind that was the 1984 Democratic primaries? Take it away, boys:
Boy, the more things change, the more they stay the same, eh? Beside the Dem candidates’ seated postures and muted tie tones (not a single plain red or blue), it’s the same rigamarole. New ideas this, hymietown that.
And a general absence of concrete policy discussion, as evidenced by the fact that laundry ship namesake Walter Mondale was able to fell his chief competitor by quoting from a friggin’ hamburger commercial:
And that was enough for Mondale to take it! And by “it”, I mean the Democratic primary. After which, Reagan annihilated him in the general election. You’ve doubtlessly seen this before, but it’s worth a second look:
This image is somewhat deceptive. Alaska and Hawaii are actually much farther away from the mainland than that.