There was nothing in Al Capone’s vault/But it wasn’t Geraldo’s fault… — Homer, “Homer’s Barbershop Quartet’
Sentient moustache Geraldo Rivera set himself up for disappointment in 1986 when he invited America to join him in revealing the contents of Alphonse Capone’s subterranean storage space in the basement of Chicago’s Lexington Hotel.
The live two-hour special was much hyped, drawing in huge viewership in anticipation of the bodies, gold bullion, and/or moonshine reserves one might expect the notorious gangster to have been holding onto. Unfortunately, as is generally the case in all of our earthly pursuits, V-Day turned out to be a bust:
Seeing as how we hold our journalists accountable in this country, Rivera was laughed out of town and never appeared on television again. Fortunately, he had that other career to fall back on…