Oh, no! I’ve killed Wilson! Looks like it’s back to jail for me… — Tim ‘The Toolman’ Taylor, “Deep Space Homer”
Whether the Simpsons writers were aware of it or not, that brief Home Improvement spoof in “Deep Space Homer” surely dredged up host of dark, painful memories for the Toolman. So let’s get into it.
Timothy Allen Dick in 1978 was arrested in Michigan with 1.4 pounds of cocaine, surely enough devil’s dandruff to get to the moon and back.
Facing a possible life sentence, the future Toolman did what any self-respecting snitch would do: squealed on his co-conspirators for a reduced prison term. He served 28 months of a 3-7 year sentence, and to this day the War on Drugs has a stronger foothold in Kalamazoo.
“I’m kind of fortunate it came apart,” he says, “because I think with a little more practice, I would have gotten really good at it.” — Ladies Home Journal interview
While I personally have nothing against Tim Allen, and even enjoyed watching the adventures of the Taylor family in the ’90s, I think we can all agree on what snitches get.
Movie deals. Right.