Tim Allen’s Bust

Oh, no! I’ve killed Wilson! Looks like it’s back to jail for me… — Tim ‘The Toolman’ Taylor, “Deep Space Homer”

Whether the Simpsons writers were aware of it or not, that brief Home Improvement spoof in “Deep Space Homer” surely dredged up host of dark, painful memories for the Toolman. So let’s get into it.

Timothy Allen Dick in 1978 was arrested in Michigan with 1.4 pounds of cocaine, surely enough devil’s dandruff to get to the moon and back.

Traditionally, this space would be reserved for making fun of his moustache, but I actually think he looks pretty good here, his whole life ahead of him.

Facing a possible life sentence, the future Toolman did what any self-respecting snitch would do: squealed on his co-conspirators for a reduced prison term. He served 28 months of a 3-7 year sentence, and to this day the War on Drugs has a stronger foothold in Kalamazoo.

“I’m kind of fortunate it came apart,” he says, “because I think with a little more practice, I would have gotten really good at it.” — Ladies Home Journal interview

While I personally have nothing against Tim Allen, and even enjoyed watching the adventures of the Taylor family in the ’90s, I think we can all agree on what snitches get.

Movie deals. Right.

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5 Responses to Tim Allen’s Bust

  1. Omar says:

    I think after Galaxy Quest and three Toy Stories, we can forgive any of his past indiscretions. (Also all future indiscretions.)

  2. Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabadoo says:

    Here’s a suggestion, Homer’s blimpy boy song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6aHFx4Y_ZI) in Lisa the Beauty Queen, season 4 episode 4, is based on The seekers “georgy girl” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSVfLNCW4Fs). Bonus: The song makes another appearance in Half-Decent proposal, season 13 episode 10.

  3. Ditto on the photo, he’s pretty handsome there (in a 70s kind of way).

    Topic idea: the Canadian Football League (mentioned in When Flanders Failed), particularly the fact they had two teams named the Saskatchewan Roughriders & Ottawa Rough Riders.

  4. Pingback: Canadian Football | Springfield Historical Society @ mcgarnagle.com

  5. Pingback: Georgy Girl | Springfield Historical Society @ mcgarnagle.com

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