Ahoy-hoy? No, you have the wrong number. This is 5246. I suspect you need more practice working your telephone machine…not at all…ahoy. — Mr. Burns, “Homer The Smithers”

Burnsie’s greeting draws from the earliest history of the call-o-matic; the contraption’s inventor, Alexander Graham Bell, plugged it as the standard greeting when picking up the earpiece. Unfortunately, a rival of Bell’s by the name of Thomas Edison suggested an absurd jumble of phonemes that caught on like wildfire: “hello”.

Of course, Bell was not the inventor of “ahoy”, merely one of its proponents. The term stems from nautical lingo—a sailor would use it to hail a passing vessel. Nowadays, we mostly just use it for cookie packaging and short-lived celebrity tie-ins:

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3 Responses to Ahoy-hoy

  1. Pepito, the Biggest Cat in the Whole Wide World says:

    I have put this article on the Faxtrola, post haste.

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