The McGuire Twins

Your Honor, I’d like to call all of my surprise witnesses again. — Lionel Hutz, “The Day The Violence Died”

Billed as the world’s heaviest twins, Billy and Benny McGuire (born McCrary) shrugged off the limits of their earthly vessels to become richer and more famous than you or I ever will aspire to. Weighing a mere five pounds apiece at birth, a dual case of German measles in their ‘tweens offset their pituitary glands and sent them into the weigh station camp, with each of them topping out around 800 pounds.

From there, the world was their oyster. Lucrative sponsorship deals came rolling in, including one from Honda:

We worked out a deal with Honda Motorcycle Company and rode mini-bikes from New York to L.A. Three thousand miles. We rode a hundred miles a day and it took us thirty days. I also had a deal worked out with Holiday Inn where we’d stay at night, and we’d ride into town and give autographs at a dealership for a couple hours. — Benny McGuire

Eventually, the twins used their impressive size and media sway to take the country (and Japan) by storm as a tag-team wrestling duo.

Unfortunately, the health problems that accompany such girth became too much to handle; Billy died in 1976 at age 32, with Benny passing on in 2001 (54 years is pretty good, actually—and he was the heavier of the two).

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4 Responses to The McGuire Twins

  1. mannwhy says:

    I always wondered who those two were!! Awesome blog, keep up the good work 😀

  2. They also make an appearance in “King-Size Homer” as mannequins in the shop Homer buys his muumuu:

    This is a fantastic blog by the way, I love it! Having been born in the same year the Simpsons debuted, I’m sure there are many, many more pop culture references that have flown over my head in all the years I’ve watched the show. I was vaguely aware of the McGuire twins, primarily because of their two brief Simpsons cameos.

    • mcgarnagle says:

      Ah, for sure! Thanks for pointing that out. Glad you like the site…it is funny how a lot of these references only make sense to me in the context of the show. As in, “Who’s Richard Nixon?” “Oh, he’s that guy from the Simpsons…”

  3. Pingback: Downtown 2025: The Future is Now « Getting Around Minneapolis

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