Hurry, Charley! There is not much time. — Rainier Wolfcastle
I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I been in this square for near thirty seasons, and I ain’t a’leavin’ now! — Charley Weaver, “Krusty Gets Kancelled”
The immobility of Springfield Squares contestant Charley Weaver (whose merry antics could be the subject of their own post if I had some money) is a reference to the heroism of actor and crucial center square Paul Lynde. Bake ’em away, toys:
Lynde, who featured in Bewitched and some other stuff, is probably best known for his one-liners on Hollywood Squares, where the majority of his gags centered around his not-particularly-concealed homosexuality, a humor device that would later be adopted by every single gay celebrity to get within ten feet of a microphone. How about some more zingers, Paul?
Celebrities in the ’70s had teeth, man. And weren’t funny.
Nonetheless, we principally bring up Lynde today in order to direct you to the following story, about which I would venture the Simpsons writers were thinking when plotting out the scene with Weaver on the beach. From Wikipedia:
An anecdote related during the A&E Biography on Lynde described an earthquake that occurred during the Hollywood Squares taping that frightened and alarmed many of the guests. Lynde remained in his seat, tapping his fingers, asking if they were going to finish the show.
Real men wear leisure suits. Remember that, ye foolhardies.