Come on! Even my fat mama can touch her toes! — Rainier Wolfcastle, “Bart Star”

Years before he ascended to the California governorship (and maybe president by now, who keeps track?), Arnold Schwarzenegger got a taste of politics in 1990 when he was named chairman of The President’s Council On Physical Fitness And Sports, a government organization created in the ’50s to combat the ongoing widening of American children’s asses.

Arnold, who was in the midst of a very healthy acting career at the time, was a safe bet to helm the organization, given his impressive physique, right-wing leanings, and healthy public image.

Not safe for work! Hey, I think that’s what “NSFW” stands for!

Arnold — “Conan The Republican”, as dubbed by H.W. — spent three years pumping up our children, which he apparently accomplished through a rigorous horseshoes/book selling regimen.

Then he impregnated that woman and was made a damn governor.